We taught it again.
She lost it.
Her favorite letters~ P and X
Her favorite people on felt so I could use them on a board to help her not forget her family.
Baby Faces- Oh that book was so loved!
Good Night Moon- given to me my my sister from her girls and read so much that she could tell me the story herself. Those were the only words sometimes she would say in a day. They were complete sentences, whole phrases~ memorized.
Then there were the notebooks. The hard part. The record of seizures. The times she would stare, drool, turn bright red, not breathe, turn blue.....
And yes the number at the top right corner are the number of seizures and how many minutes they lasted that week. But on the bright side that was later in her seizure life. Earlier it was the total in a day.
She slept.
She seized.
She slept.
She seized.
No wonder she did not know anything.
The box makes me smile the notebooks make me sad.
Somber posts... yes but it is things like this that show me how much she has accomplished. Where she has been. One day I will figure out youtube and post videos of her back then. That is more real but I fear putting her out there.
Within those notebooks are what she has accomplished, also. Every word mumbled. Every sound made. If she had a fever, I wrote it down. What she ate is all in there. I could probably hand this notebook to a DAN doctor and they could find a pattern and tell me how to treat her better. But no one can tell me I was not a good mom. I do question it from time to time. I am the one who takes her to the doctor, gets her to eat food that is not her favorite. Takes her to and from therapy she does not fee like going to that day. And heaven forbid I teach her how to brush her hair. Not her favorite thing.
So for now I am not her favorite. She loves her daddy. But I am making her a wife, a mom and a person who can live like any one else one day. So for that I will take the back seat.
